I read an article the other day by a friend who has insomnia. He said that when he dies he will finally get some sleep. As I read the article I had concern for that man who had to go through sleepless nights. I have those on occasion myself. However, that story gave me a flashback to a bad time in my life.
It was late 1994 while I was at work that I came very close to passing out. I was taken to the emergency room and as often happens nothing was found. For the following three months I had terrible headaches, nose bleeds that didn't want to stop, extreme dizziness, and I couldn't walk more than a few steps without falling down. I went through every medical test under the sun and was always told we can't find anything wrong. During my ordeal I was on thirteen different kinds of medication and nothing helped. I was in bed for months and often as I laid there I could feel my head staying still as my body moved back and forth. It was a strange feeling, something I hope no one has to experience. I laid there in bed afraid to go to sleep because I thought I wouldn't wake up again.
Then one day it happened. I was floating near the ceiling looking down on my body. I was in bed, lifeless. I knew that I had died. It felt so peaceful, like nothing I have ever experienced in my life. After a few minutes I felt a strange feeling as I reentered my body. It wasn't a dream it happened, I was dead. It was a long time before I told anyone because I was sure they would think I was crazy.
Near the end of the third month I was taken to a chiropractor. No medical doctor could do anything for me, so really it was a last resort. After a few days I was feeling better and within two weeks I was much better. I finally returned to work but it took me months to get back to normal. I was scared to go anywhere alone. It will soon be twenty years since that bad time in my life. I was so curious if anyone else had experienced what I had. I read many books and stories and it had happened to other people.
Many people are afraid of dying. I have never been afraid because it happens to everyone. I'm just a little different because I have already died once.
Copyright Larry W. Fish 2014
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Monday, May 26, 2014
MEMORIAL DAY
As this Memorial Day weekend has come once again I think of how much this weekend means to me. So many of our military has lost their lives in war. It is a time when many people are more interested in BBQ's and festivals than they are in the true meaning of Memorial Day.
Last night I looked at the National Memorial Day Concert from the west lawn of the US Capitol. It was an amazing hour and a half co-hosted by Joe Mantegna and Gary Sinise. To hear the stories told by loved loves of their sons and husbands killed in war it brought tears to my eyes. To see men who served in World War II on D-day was a moment I will never forget.
Whether a loved one has been wounded, killed, or is just away from their families for long periods of time protecting the freedom that we have come to know, we should hold everyone of them in our hearts and our prayers. In between all of that celebrating and a day off from work people should think of the real reason for Memorial Day.
On Facebook this morning I read an article written by my friend, Dennis Page, and what flying the American flag means to him. He loves this country as do I. We both know there are sacrifices that our military makes every day being away from their loved ones. Many in times of war make the ultimate sacrifice. Don't ever make those loved ones feel like their husbands, wives, sons, or daughters gave their lives and you don't care. Don't ever do that.
God Bless America!!!!
Copyright Larry W. Fish 2014
Last night I looked at the National Memorial Day Concert from the west lawn of the US Capitol. It was an amazing hour and a half co-hosted by Joe Mantegna and Gary Sinise. To hear the stories told by loved loves of their sons and husbands killed in war it brought tears to my eyes. To see men who served in World War II on D-day was a moment I will never forget.
Whether a loved one has been wounded, killed, or is just away from their families for long periods of time protecting the freedom that we have come to know, we should hold everyone of them in our hearts and our prayers. In between all of that celebrating and a day off from work people should think of the real reason for Memorial Day.
On Facebook this morning I read an article written by my friend, Dennis Page, and what flying the American flag means to him. He loves this country as do I. We both know there are sacrifices that our military makes every day being away from their loved ones. Many in times of war make the ultimate sacrifice. Don't ever make those loved ones feel like their husbands, wives, sons, or daughters gave their lives and you don't care. Don't ever do that.
God Bless America!!!!
Copyright Larry W. Fish 2014
Sunday, May 18, 2014
I DON'T UNDERSTAND
I grew up rather poor and never had the chance to go to college. It is something that I never regretted and I did study years later through a correspondence course for an Associates Degree. College also isn't for everyone. Many successful people have done amazing things without a college degree. However, in today's world it seems that a college degree is much more important than it was when I was a young man.
It was this morning that I saw something on Facebook that just amazed me. It seemed so wrong that I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that our government is so wrong. Our government wastes money on so many things and our representatives and senators get so many perks and benefits that they do not deserve.
On Facebook I read that our government could make college tuition at American public universities free for 62.6 billion dollars. At the bottom of the photo I read that we will spend 85.4 billion dollars in Afghanistan in fiscal year 2015.
It seems so wrong to me that our government feels a war in a far off land in a country that doesn't care about the USA is more important than the education of our young people. The people going to college today will be our future leaders, opening new businesses, and running the country. There is no doubt in my mind that America has it's priorities wrong, very very wrong.
There is little that we can do except to vote for people who feel education is more important than war.
Copyright Larry W. Fish 2014
It was this morning that I saw something on Facebook that just amazed me. It seemed so wrong that I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that our government is so wrong. Our government wastes money on so many things and our representatives and senators get so many perks and benefits that they do not deserve.
On Facebook I read that our government could make college tuition at American public universities free for 62.6 billion dollars. At the bottom of the photo I read that we will spend 85.4 billion dollars in Afghanistan in fiscal year 2015.
It seems so wrong to me that our government feels a war in a far off land in a country that doesn't care about the USA is more important than the education of our young people. The people going to college today will be our future leaders, opening new businesses, and running the country. There is no doubt in my mind that America has it's priorities wrong, very very wrong.
There is little that we can do except to vote for people who feel education is more important than war.
Copyright Larry W. Fish 2014
Monday, May 12, 2014
THE OUTLOOK CHANGES
I am now in my mid sixties and as I look back on my life, I see the many changes that have taken place. The advancements in technology have been fascinating. The pride and patriotism of American business has felt us for the desire of greed by big business. The middle class is dwindling as the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. Our government that one worked for the benefit of the American people is now working for the benefit of special interests.
There have also been many changes in my personal life as I used to look at life through the eyes of a little boy. Now I look at life through the eyes of an older man. I have to smile at some of the things that come to my mind as I write this.
I used to look at my dad shaving and I thought to myself, I can't wait until I shave. Now I am sixty five and every time I pick up that razor I think to myself, gee I wish I didn't have to shave all the time. Funny how things can change from the way a little boy sees it and the way an older man looks at it.
I remember sitting in class at school and thinking that I can't wait until the day I got out of school and could start working. It didn't take long in my adult life as I was often working two jobs to make ends meet, that I realized school wasn't so bad after all.
I remember as a young man I often said things or did things to people that I am now ashamed of. It took time in my life to mature and realize that everyone wants the same things in life. Everyone deserves kindness and respect. I now look at everyone I see as a potential friend. Friends are an important part of life and a true friend is someone you can tell secrets to and know they will just remain between the two of you.
The little boy I was wanted to be a forest ranger. That never materialized as this little boy went to work in a factory where his father and brother worked. It wasn't my first choice and was the start of thirty years of working in manufacturing. It was often stressful, but paid well. Now as I am retired I look back on that time and think, did I ever regret not becoming a forest ranger? Yes, at times I did regret that decision.
I have had other regrets in life. There was a time after I got out of the military that I had a chance to learn how to fly. I visited a local airport, took a ride in a small aircraft, and was told that the government would pay for 90%. I was at that time working in a factory, had a wife and a small child. It was my decision to turn down the offer to learn how to fly because I was working about seventy hours a week.
I now look back and wonder what could have been. However, I also look back and feel proud of what I have done in my life. I now have a wife of 43 years, 2 wonderful children, and 5 grand kids that I adore.
One other change I can think of. When I was in school I had no desire to be a writer. It was the last thing that I thought I would ever want to do. Now here I am in my golden years writing a blog, have had stories published in Our USA Magazine, had a novel published and am in the process of getting more published.
I love life and enjoy getting up every day, petting my adopted dog, and knowing that my wife and I will still have many more years together. God bless life and God bless America, the land that I love.
Copyright Larry W. Fish 2014
There have also been many changes in my personal life as I used to look at life through the eyes of a little boy. Now I look at life through the eyes of an older man. I have to smile at some of the things that come to my mind as I write this.
I used to look at my dad shaving and I thought to myself, I can't wait until I shave. Now I am sixty five and every time I pick up that razor I think to myself, gee I wish I didn't have to shave all the time. Funny how things can change from the way a little boy sees it and the way an older man looks at it.
I remember sitting in class at school and thinking that I can't wait until the day I got out of school and could start working. It didn't take long in my adult life as I was often working two jobs to make ends meet, that I realized school wasn't so bad after all.
I remember as a young man I often said things or did things to people that I am now ashamed of. It took time in my life to mature and realize that everyone wants the same things in life. Everyone deserves kindness and respect. I now look at everyone I see as a potential friend. Friends are an important part of life and a true friend is someone you can tell secrets to and know they will just remain between the two of you.
The little boy I was wanted to be a forest ranger. That never materialized as this little boy went to work in a factory where his father and brother worked. It wasn't my first choice and was the start of thirty years of working in manufacturing. It was often stressful, but paid well. Now as I am retired I look back on that time and think, did I ever regret not becoming a forest ranger? Yes, at times I did regret that decision.
I have had other regrets in life. There was a time after I got out of the military that I had a chance to learn how to fly. I visited a local airport, took a ride in a small aircraft, and was told that the government would pay for 90%. I was at that time working in a factory, had a wife and a small child. It was my decision to turn down the offer to learn how to fly because I was working about seventy hours a week.
I now look back and wonder what could have been. However, I also look back and feel proud of what I have done in my life. I now have a wife of 43 years, 2 wonderful children, and 5 grand kids that I adore.
One other change I can think of. When I was in school I had no desire to be a writer. It was the last thing that I thought I would ever want to do. Now here I am in my golden years writing a blog, have had stories published in Our USA Magazine, had a novel published and am in the process of getting more published.
I love life and enjoy getting up every day, petting my adopted dog, and knowing that my wife and I will still have many more years together. God bless life and God bless America, the land that I love.
Copyright Larry W. Fish 2014
Thursday, May 1, 2014
THE DAY THAT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER
Last night I was chatting online with a friend and a topic came up that haunts me. Some things just need to be told no matter how painful they may be. I was lying in bed early this morning, about 3:30 am and tears were running down my cheeks like they have so many times through the years.
The day that changed my life forever takes me back in time to almost fifty nine years ago. I was a little boy of seven years old. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. A sunny day that started out so well. I had no idea how that day would change and haunt me for the rest of my life. I don't know how many times through the years it has made me cry. Sad tears that started in a little boy of seven years old and continues to this day as I approach sixty six.
My brother and I walked to our uncle's house as we often did. I can remember looking out over the corn fields on his forty acre farm. My uncle was an amazing farmer and could grow crops that would make any man proud. On this particular day as we approached him we could see that he was drunk as a skunk. This was frequent with my uncle as he was the town drunk. However, I think I didn't realize how he could be until that day.
We walked up to him and he was weaving back and forth, swearing a blue streak. His little dog, a beagle, had given birth to several puppies just several days before. As my brother and I stood there he reached back underneath his porch and pulled those puppies out one by one. I can remember them looking so cute in my eyes and thinking how they would make someone so happy. Then the horror came. My uncle threw each one of them on the ground and stomped them to death. He was in a drunken rage. I turned my head away but I can still hear the sound to this day of his boot coming down and crushing those little puppies to death.
I had just witnessed something that no child should have to see. I remember running home crying and crying. Those puppies just didn't die that day, so did any respect and love I had for my uncle. It was over, I hated him then and I hate him now. There is no way I could ever forgive him for doing such a horrid act. I talked to him rarely after that and never attended his funeral when he died. That little seven year old boy and this man who is almost sixty six will never forgive him. My uncle was an alcoholic. In the few times I saw him sober he was a kind man. The alcohol changed him into a monster. Even to this day if I see a drunk on TV, like Otis Campbell on the Andy Griffith Show my mind will flash back to that day.
That day haunts me something fierce. It will haunt me until the day I die. I guess if anything good came out of that day it is my love for animals. I was lying in bed this morning with tears in my eyes and rolled over to look at my dog Cookie sleeping in her bed. I did get a smile as I thought to myself, don't worry honey. No one is every going to hurt you again. I won't let them.
Copyright Larry W. Fish 2014
The day that changed my life forever takes me back in time to almost fifty nine years ago. I was a little boy of seven years old. I can still remember it like it was yesterday. A sunny day that started out so well. I had no idea how that day would change and haunt me for the rest of my life. I don't know how many times through the years it has made me cry. Sad tears that started in a little boy of seven years old and continues to this day as I approach sixty six.
My brother and I walked to our uncle's house as we often did. I can remember looking out over the corn fields on his forty acre farm. My uncle was an amazing farmer and could grow crops that would make any man proud. On this particular day as we approached him we could see that he was drunk as a skunk. This was frequent with my uncle as he was the town drunk. However, I think I didn't realize how he could be until that day.
We walked up to him and he was weaving back and forth, swearing a blue streak. His little dog, a beagle, had given birth to several puppies just several days before. As my brother and I stood there he reached back underneath his porch and pulled those puppies out one by one. I can remember them looking so cute in my eyes and thinking how they would make someone so happy. Then the horror came. My uncle threw each one of them on the ground and stomped them to death. He was in a drunken rage. I turned my head away but I can still hear the sound to this day of his boot coming down and crushing those little puppies to death.
I had just witnessed something that no child should have to see. I remember running home crying and crying. Those puppies just didn't die that day, so did any respect and love I had for my uncle. It was over, I hated him then and I hate him now. There is no way I could ever forgive him for doing such a horrid act. I talked to him rarely after that and never attended his funeral when he died. That little seven year old boy and this man who is almost sixty six will never forgive him. My uncle was an alcoholic. In the few times I saw him sober he was a kind man. The alcohol changed him into a monster. Even to this day if I see a drunk on TV, like Otis Campbell on the Andy Griffith Show my mind will flash back to that day.
That day haunts me something fierce. It will haunt me until the day I die. I guess if anything good came out of that day it is my love for animals. I was lying in bed this morning with tears in my eyes and rolled over to look at my dog Cookie sleeping in her bed. I did get a smile as I thought to myself, don't worry honey. No one is every going to hurt you again. I won't let them.
Copyright Larry W. Fish 2014
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)